37. Bad Guests & Birthday Meltdowns

A woman crashes a birthday party, gets drunk, fights over cake… and then steals the entire thing. Naturally, Katie and Justin have thoughts. 🎂🚔

This week on Wrong Way Forward, we dive into the internet-famous “Cake Tug-of-War” advice column and debate boundaries, family loyalty, emotional regulation, and whether stealing buttercream is grounds for an immediate breakup.

Plus:
🍰 Why the brother may actually be the worst person in the story
🍷 COVID-era party dynamics and social meltdowns
💸 Gwyneth Paltrow’s spicy comments on the ultra-rich
🚩 First impressions, family drama, and absolute chaos

Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

🎙 Wrong Way Forward with Katie Montgomery & Justin Joseph

📧 wrongwayforwardpodcast@gmail.com

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Transcript

Beach Banter And May Snow

SPEAKER_02 0:00

She's Katie Montgomery. He's Justin Joseph. These best friends are serving subpoenas to bad advice weekly with Wrong Way Forward. Now here's Katie and Justin.

Katy Montgomery 0:11

Hi, everybody, and welcome to Wrong Way Forward. This is the podcast where we roast bad advice. My name is Katie Montgomery, and I am here with my best friend Justin Joseph. And we're excited to dive in today. Um, how are you, Justin?

Justin Joseph 0:25

I'm doing great. I um we just went through a big snowstorm here, a May snowstorm, which is an unusual thing uh for us, and we're digging out. But yeah, doing great. What about you? How's the beach?

Katy Montgomery 0:36

The beach is amazing. Um, and I'm pretty excited because I don't have a single appointment tomorrow. So I might get drunk tonight, drunk tomorrow.

Justin Joseph 0:46

Now, will you actually go lay on the beach, or I mean, you guys spend a lot of time down on the beach?

Katy Montgomery 0:50

So, you know, it's really funny, Justin. We were talking about this, like, you know, when you're and and anybody who sees me can see that I am I am not a tan goddess. Like I am, I am very pale. But it used to be when we were in college, and even afterwards, you would sit, you would try to get tan. I, you know, and when we're gonna have lots of company come in. Like, Justin, you're gonna know about six or seven people who are coming in kind of all at once, or are you guys are you kind of staggering it out? We're having people sprinkle in, but the last weekend's gonna be really fun. It's gonna be um a lot of Loyola people, a lot of Loyola girls. And I know they're gonna want to go on the beach, so I will go on the beach. But if I'm at the beach and they're not there, I'm like, I don't want to put on all the sunscreen, I don't want to wear a big hat. You know, I'm finally at the age where I'm trying to take care of my skin, you know, I don't want to drag everything down there. But I love being at the beach. I love hearing the water, I love, yeah, having kind of that stuff. But the production, not so much.

Justin Joseph 1:46

And are you guys cooking while you're there? Are you going out to dinner every night?

Katy Montgomery 1:49

Like how we usually do is go out to lunch because you can have like a drink or two and drive. But then at night, we usually cook and then kind of stay here. But you know, I am a little bit under a mile from the Florabama, the very famous bar on the Florida Alabama line. And we'll usually walk down there. And what we'll start out is let's have lunch and let's have drinks, and it'll be, you know, three or four drinks later. And before you know it, we're staying late night and dancing. And then we usually leave when somebody flies a rebel flag or says Trump is keen. And then I'm like, we're out.

Justin Joseph 2:31

You probably get a lot of it down there, I'm guessing.

Katy Montgomery 2:33

Oh, yeah, but it usually doesn't pick up until like eight or nine.

Justin Joseph 2:36

Yeah.

Katy Montgomery 2:36

But that's when you've already been there six or seven hours.

Justin Joseph 2:39

Well, it's like when we go to the beach and my parents, you know, we drink as well the first day, especially. We'll get, and then we make friends with everyone, and then we spend the rest of time with the blinds closed because we're like, oh, they're down there. I don't want to go down and talk to them, you know. I totally understand that. It's it's Josh more than anyone. I mean, I remember one time these women all came, they were all working at Walmart, which they were lovely, but you can kind of you can put two and two together and lose.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Justin.

Justin Joseph 3:04

Well, uh, was that mean?

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Yes. You're like they when they worked at Walmart, they were lovely. You had a snarl on your face and said, You could put two and two together.

Justin Joseph 3:16

Well, you can, anywho, Josh thought they just Josh was out there yap, yap, yapping all the first day, just drunk, and then they were in the pool the rest of the time, and we're like, I don't want to go down and hang out with the Walmart people. Anyway, okay, what are we talking about this week's episode?

Katy Montgomery 3:30

Anyway, so

The Birthday Party Cake Theft

Katy Montgomery 3:31

everybody needs to kind of buckle in because this is a little long one, but this is an advice column called DearProudence, which is on Slate.com. Um, and I think this is really interesting. Um, and so this is basically the title of this is My Brother's New Girlfriend Got Drunk at My Birthday and Stole My Cake. Um, so this was published in August of 2020. So you have to think, you know, it's it's COVID time. So this person writes in and says, Look, I had a small, socially distant party for my birthday. It was supposed to just be my brother, my roommate, my boyfriend, and me. But my brother brought his new girlfriend, Emily, and her small son without asking.

Justin Joseph 4:12

Emily.

Katy Montgomery 4:13

And proceeds to say that it just, you know, the fact that she brought her son made it kind of miserable because, you know, Emily was, you know, not taking care of her son and they were having to watch. But she said her roommate got her a very expensive cake. And when she was handing out slices, Emily pushed her over and tried to take a huge slice for her son. And at this point, already this girl has had enough. She stopped Emily and told her to take a smaller slice, and then she put the rest of the cake back in the fridge. And then she basically goes up to her brother and says, You got to take control over this. And so it's towards the end of the night, and the boyfriend, her boyfriend, goes to look in the fridge and the cake is gone. And she's pissed off, runs after the brother. They're still in the parking lot trying to buckle up the kid. And she goes up to Emily and demands that she gives her back the cake. So Emily took her cake and she first says she doesn't know what she's talking about. And the girl sees the cake in the back seat. I mean, she can see it. And um, and she looks to her brother and is like, give it back to me. And then Emily changes her story and says, You gave it to me because you said cake is for kids. And so she calls her a liar. And so they, so the roommate, then who actually bought the cake, comes in. This has become a whole drama, comes in, opens the car door, and grabs the cake. At this point, Emily tries to stop her from the cake she stole. She's trying to stop her from retrieving it. And then she starts swearing, the kids start crying, and everyone goes home. And Emily says it was an accident. Um, but you know, anyway, everybody is like, this is appalled, this is ridiculous. Um, and the she's really doubling down. So she tells her brother, you need to talk to your girlfriend, and she needs to apologize, and she needs to give me a cake from the same bakery. So absolutely ridiculous. Um, and she's saying, This is the very first time the girlfriend met any of us. She did, she had horrible behavior. And so it's called cake tug of war. And so I'm hearing that sound again. It's be here at the beach. Um, and so that prudence writes back and says, I'll happily concede that your brother should have asked before bringing two guests. Um, but neither your brother's thoughtlessness nor Emily's rudeness justifies your own response, which was nowhere near the line. You had a number of opportunities to let something go, or politely put your foot down before you found yourself arguing with a drunk woman in the street over a cake. You have the right to decide whether someone is a guest in your home. When your brother showed up with two strangers, you could have said, I'm sorry, I can't safely accommodate surprised guests. Let's find another time for a safe introduction. The fact that Emily got drunk and ignored her son reflects badly on her indeed. But if your brother was unwilling to handle it, the best response available is not take a smaller piece of cake, you witch, but to tell them politely and firmly to leave. And escalating the situation by chasing after them doesn't seem to have done much to make your birthday party more fun. Um, I'm sorry your party was unpleasant, and I'm sorry one of your guests took your leftovers. You have sufficient reason to dislike and distrust Emily and not to welcome into your home again. But what if you and your roommate and boyfriend had let it go and focused on having a good time after your brother and Emily left? Plus, it's a waste of time and energy to try to persuade her to replace the cake or to grant her the power to ruin your birthday. Someone has to de-escalate this. So, unless you want to spend the next year going back and forth with your brother over whether he owes you a cake, let that person be you. So,

Prudence Says De Escalate

Katy Montgomery 7:55

Justin, what would you do if you had an Emily at your party and she stole your very fancy and expensive birthday cake?

Justin Joseph 8:04

I have to pull it. I'm gonna play it for you. This is the scene where Kristen Wigg is on the plane and trying to sneak into first class. And let's listen to the scene, then we can talk about it. Uh no, you're not. You were just this is where Kristen. Yes, it is you. Please go back to your side. Do you remember this scene?

Katy Montgomery 8:34

Yes.

Justin Joseph 8:35

Uh no, you're not. You were just out here and you put sunglasses on. Out.

Katy Montgomery 8:42

She can have my feet back.

Justin Joseph 8:43

Okay, anyway, I that you probably need to see this visually, but it reminds me of that. This woman has no business being here. She behaves totally inappropriate. This isn't a birthday party. She she she treats us like it's Ocean's 11 cake heist. I mean, she stole the cake. Um, so I think it's hilarious, but she had hip the brother needs to get rid of her immediately.

Katy Montgomery 9:04

Well, I mean, I I do think Emily is definitely in poor behavior. I think the other thing is this woman, and now mind you, it might be that it was COVID, that she was having a small party, that she's not good with surprises, these two people show up, she lost control over the situation, and therefore she just lost all sense of any kind of you know right and wrong. But this woman really dug in about this dumb cake. It's like she's never had a piece of nice cake before. I mean, it's a $50 cake. I mean, this person's not destitute. And so the fact that she's even getting obsessed about the size of a cake per person, then taking it to stealing the cake. I I'm just wondering what's up with her that she is so laser focused on this cake. I mean, like it, I I think she felt out of control, and this was the one thing that she was gonna control, and you will take it from my kung fu grip, right? And so I think she needs to check herself as to why she was having such a crazy reaction to this. Um, I think Emily's a piece of work. Um, and you know, the fact that she showed up that she was so I mean, here's the thing, when you were being introduced to a family, and I hate to say this because I'm I don't want to say this about women, but particularly when you're meeting the sister, you need you you work a little extra hard, right? Like I think, yeah, like I would think a sister would be, I think probably it was easier for people to meet my brothers, you know, like for Colleen to meet Charles than it was to meet me because you know, I'm probab more judgmental and I'm you know, and I'm a female myself and I'm checking things out that a guy's like, hey, do you want a beer? You know, and so I'm like the fact that Emily is just so F and stupid to show up when she knows she's not and to not act on her best P's and Q's leads me to believe that she's crazy, she's a narcissist, she doesn't understand, again, community standards, she has no emotional intelligence. So I do think the right way forward is for him to dump her ass. But I think I pretty much agree with maybe prudence that this woman was just too laser focused on the cake. And she needs to check herself and understand why this sent her into such fight and

What You Can Control As Host

Katy Montgomery 11:24

flight.

Justin Joseph 11:24

Hold that thought, we'll take it up on the other side, we'll be right back on Wrong Way Forward.

Katy Montgomery 11:27

You've been listening to Wrong Way Forward, where bad advice goes to die and then gets resurrected just so we can roast it again.

Justin Joseph 11:35

If you're enjoying the chaos, hit like and subscribe and come back every Thursday for new episodes.

Katy Montgomery 11:40

Have a new topic or some disastrously bad advice you want to dissect, email wrongwayforwardpodcast at gmail.com. Include your contact info.

SPEAKER_02 11:50

Now back to Wrong Way Forward. Roasting the worst advice ever. Welcome back to the Katie and Justin Podcast.

Justin Joseph 11:56

Hi, everybody. Welcome back to Wrong Way Forward. This week we're talking about the great cake heist. Um, it's basically an episode of Ocean's Eleven where a brother brings his girlfriend to a party. It's his sister's party, and this woman basically loses all of her mind over cake, apparently some amazing cake, and ends up stealing the cake. And the the advice column asks what this what the family's supposed to do about this. When we left, Katie was saying basically Emily is the girl who stole the cake. Emily sucks. We agree on that. And um the question also is do you let foreign people and people you don't know into your house?

Katy Montgomery 12:31

Well, I mean, here's the thing. I I have a very unique experience on this because I lived in Singapore during COVID. I mean, it was the most extreme of extremes. Like if you, you know, were in America and and particularly there were certain regions of the country that that handled COVID, maybe, you know, more delicately than others. In Singapore, I mean, it was every time we went to a mall or a grocery store, we had to scan a QR code so they could do tracing. Um, if you left the country and came back, you had to be in isolation for 14 days and they would test you on a day 11. Um, they had rules where I'm not kidding you, I had a friend who was married with four kids. They would go to a restaurant and you could only sit at tables of four. Their family had to separate, even though they went in one minivan to the restaurant, left in one minivan and all lived together. If they went to a restaurant, they had to sit at two tables. So for me, I was kind of in a period where it was so strict. So if and I do believe that some people, you know, held that strictness. So I would first be, I understand that she was upset because it's COVID, it's a small party, and then to have that thrown on you, right? And so, but the fact that she kind of transferred, there was major transference going on here, it just went to the cake. My guess is she was really super pissed at her brother. But she loves her brother, she's close with the brother, her brother was invited, and so she asked her brother to do some stuff, but the brother really failed to show up on multiple occasions.

Justin Joseph 14:06

And wouldn't you be mortified if you were the brother? Like, oh my god, who's this woman?

Katy Montgomery 14:10

Yes, and I'd also be mortified about my sister's behavior. I'd be like, I'm trapped between two nutcases. But the thing about it is, is I think part of it is that she was so disappointed in him, but it's way easier to put that shit on Emily because Emily's not the person you love. It's not your family, it's not the person you're disappointed in, it's not the person you expected more. So she funneled everything towards Emily, and even by by product to Emily's son, you know, this poor innocent, you know, right sitting here and watching this cake tug of war, you know, rather than saying to her brother, get your shit together, you're gonna need to leave.

Justin Joseph 14:49

No, I agree. I think the advice here is that's basically what the advice is this this Emily is crazy. And I I agree that not a good way, not a good look coming into a party.

Katy Montgomery 14:59

Well, and here's the thing, I I never go, you know this, I never go anywhere empty-handed. I mean, e even to like my brother's house, you know. I mean, not my brother lives in DC because we're always kind of in each other's house, but like if I go to like Charles's house, I come with something, like I bring something. So the fact that like, you know, Emily's trying to take stuff and didn't even bring something, I mean, she was just raised in a barn.

Justin Joseph 15:24

100%.

Katy Montgomery 15:25

What do you type in there?

Justin Joseph 15:27

I was asking ChatGBT if it had any takes on this. I'm curious as to what its take is. ChatGBT brings up the fact that um is the brother the debate is is the brother worse than the girlfriend for doing this? What do we think?

Katy Montgomery 15:40

Well, I mean, the girlfriend right now, I mean, she's dumb because she should have positioned herself well, you know, but she didn't owe this girl anything. The brother does. And it's her sister's birthday. So, you know, I would probably say he's more at fault.

Justin Joseph 15:54

And also it's about first impression, right? Like what what uh the the whole point of this is first impressions matter.

Katy Montgomery 16:00

Oh, 100%.

Justin Joseph 16:02

100%.

Katy Montgomery 16:03

Yep.

First Impressions And Brother Blame

Justin Joseph 16:04

All right, when we come back on the other side of uh the break, we'll wrap this up and talk about this week's hot topics. We'll be right back after this. Thanks for streaming Wrong Way Forward, the weekly reminder that advice is usually free for a reason. We call out bad advice wherever it hides boardrooms, break rooms, and even book clubs.

Katy Montgomery 16:21

Enjoying this dumpster fire, like, subscribe, and check back every Thursday for new episodes. Want us to roast your favorite piece of nonsense? Email us at wrongwayforwardpodcast at gmail.com. Be sure to include your contact info. We're not psychic, just judgmental. And now back to Wrong Way Forward. Roasting the worst advice

Gwyneth Paltrow On The Ultra Rich

Katy Montgomery 16:42

ever. Welcome back to the Katie and Justin. Hey everybody, and we are back. Um, we're gonna cover kind of a hot piece in the news right now, which is Gwyneth Paltrow um had Kara Swisher on for the Goop um podcast and basically kind of berated, you know, rich women, kind of over $200 million kind of net worth, and how what is their kind of advantage or what are they adding to society? So I think Justin's got a clip of that.

Justin Joseph 17:09

Yeah, well, let's do talk about another slide. Here we go.

SPEAKER_04 17:12

We got to this place in culture where sort of nothing matters, and and now all that matters is these kind of super rich white dudes who are breaking rules, setting rules, you know, seemingly like not caring so much about the downstream impact on everything. They don't think they're responsible for the dead.

Justin Joseph 17:33

All right, so that's what Gwyneth Paltrow said, Katie. What's your take on that?

Katy Montgomery 17:36

I have to tell you, I saw this video and I heard at it.

Justin Joseph 17:41

But it's interesting because, you know, she drives me nuts. Gwyneth Paltrow is not my favorite person of the world. Um, but she was criticized for this because she is a super white rich white dude, except she's female.

Katy Montgomery 17:52

Right. But I but I think at least, I mean, I think some people would argue is that she does see the the trickle down and that, you know, she does see kind of her role in society and in the community, you know. Um, and I don't think she is as rich as the people that she's talking about, right? But I could see where that criticism comes from. But I think Kara Swisher's right, and I think like we've created a space where if you make a certain amount of money, you are absolved from community norms. Um, you can actually create the rules, you can make exceptions for yourself, and nobody's calling anyone out of it.

Justin Joseph 18:29

And we're talking about the Mark Zuckerbergs, the Elon Musk. Is that who you we're talking about here?

Katy Montgomery 18:33

Yeah, definitely.

Justin Joseph 18:35

And what about the argument that these are people that made their way and they earned these aren't people who who got their money from family or inheritance, they they were smart people who made their way.

Katy Montgomery 18:48

Well, I mean, I think here's the thing. If you actually it the question is, is what is that they got their way? I mean, if you look at Mark Zuckerberg's upbraining, if you look at Bill Gates' upbraining, if you look at Elon Musk's upbraining, these were very privileged. You know, these aren't people who pulled themselves up from their own bootstraps.

Justin Joseph 19:06

Oh, I don't know that I agree. I mean, these are people who built, built things out of nothing. I mean, I still think you have to give them some.

Katy Montgomery 19:12

Agreed, agree. But I think to say that, you know, um, you know, that they didn't come, you know, from privilege and exposure, you know, it's that whole kind of concept, like, you know, when you're born on home base versus born on first, you know, it's it's a lot easier to, you know, to get the hit. Yeah. Um, but I mean, you know, what I think is interesting is that she also had the nerve to say that. I think now so many people are avoiding saying anything that is remotely um, you know, controversial because of the backlash and because things fly through social media so fast, it's almost in real time that you're gonna get the trolling and the negative feedback. And so I appreciate that she had the nerve to say that.

Justin Joseph 19:57

Yeah. All right. Well, that's

Season Three Plans And Listener Thanks

Justin Joseph 19:59

this week's episode of Wrong Way Forward. Uh, we will see you next time. And Katie, we're actually getting ready to start season three. We are.

Katy Montgomery 20:06

I think it's kind of crazy. And um, and just just for our just to say thank you, you know, to our viewers, I thought this was so interesting. Um, just kind of looking at our stats and where we've gone over time. Um, we're in 507 cities, um, we're in 56 countries and territories, um, and we're close to 5,000 downloads. Um, and that's not including kind of um our activity on our social media sites. So we do thank everyone. And next week we're gonna have a best of season two episode. And then when you see us in season three, I will actually be in Denver. So we will be um filming some episodes together where we're in the same room, and so we're pretty excited to see what hijinks will ensue.

Justin Joseph 20:54

We'll see you next week on Wrong Way Forward. All right, that's a wrap on this week's episode of Wrong Way Forward.

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Justin Joseph 21:00

Remember, the only thing worse than taking bad advice is giving it.

Katy Montgomery 21:03

If you've liked what you've heard, like, subscribe, or follow us wherever you stream podcasts. And if you've got a topic or need some advice, we'll probably regret giving, email us at wrongwayforwardpodcast at gmail.com.

Justin Joseph 21:17

Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Wrong Way Forward.