12. Hoe, Hoe, Hoe: Neighbor Gardens in the Nude. Please Help.

This week on Wrong Way Forward, Katy Montgomery and Justin Joseph get down and dirty—literally—with one of the strangest advice columns yet: a woman whose neighbor insists on gardening in the nude. From bare-bottom begonias to a teenager too traumatized to step outside, the duo peels back (too many) layers of suburban exhibitionism and asks: when does body confidence cross into public indecency?

Expect laughter, strong opinions, and some deeply unfortunate childhood pool stories. Then, the hosts tackle an even juicier neighbor feud—a man who built a massive stone middle finger to face his ex-wife’s window—and a listener dilemma about whether to ghost the most toxic coworker ever.
 Because here on Wrong Way Forward, bad advice isn’t just discussed—it’s subpoenaed, roasted, and retried for crimes against common sense.

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Podcast Music licensed by Wrong Way Forward Podcast and courtesy  OneRepeat

Transcript

Cold Open And Today’s Theme

Speaker 0:00

She's Katie Montgomery. He's Justin Joseph. These best friends are serving subpoenas to bad advice weekly with Wrong Way Forward. Now, here's Katy and Justin.

Justin Joseph 0:11

Hi, everybody, and welcome to this week's episode of Wrong Way Forward. This week we're tackling something that probably has never happened to anyone. I have one very small or parallel experience to this, which Katy and I can talk about. But when we both read this advice column, we were both shocked about it. Katy, you want to kind of give an overview of where we're heading with this?

The Nude Gardening Dilemma

Katy Montgomery 0:29

Um, so we're gonna be talking about gardening in the nude. Um, and so someone, um, and Justin, are you gonna be reading that advice column?

Justin Joseph 0:38

Yeah, I'll take it up. Um, gardening in the nude. Like I said, it's probably not happened to a lot of people, but it's shocking that it happened even to this one person. Um, this was in the Oregon Live. I guess it's not surprising that this happened in Oregon, just to start with. But um, Lizzie writes in my neighbor really likes to be naked in her backyard. All summer, she does everything she can in the nude. I mean, she gardens naked, she reads naked, she takes work calls naked, freaked out there. This wouldn't be a problem, except that we live on a rise and our backyard looks right down onto hers. That means when she's nude, we very feel very awkward in our own backyard. Not to mention that, okay, this is hilarious. Not to mention the fact that my teenage son refuses to go back because he's worried he will spy on a middle-aged naked woman. So, first, overall reaction to that, then we'll get into the advice that the columnists gave.

Katy Montgomery 1:28

Well, my first reaction reading this is I remember um I danced forever when I was young. And I remember at my very first recital, the dance instructor said, if you can see the audience, the audience can see you. And so I think it before we even get to the advice, I'm like, let's not paint this rosy. Let's not say this is an innocent person doing what she wants to do in her backyard. If you can be seen by someone, you can see them. And so she's full aware of what she's doing.

Justin Joseph 2:01

Right. And she probably, there's some probably this, this is that whole voyeuristic thing, which I just do not understand. But there's

First Reactions And Boundaries

Justin Joseph 2:07

probably some part of her that's excited. Is that the word? Excited by it.

Katy Montgomery 2:12

I mean, I I don't think we can necessarily assign her motives, but she clearly likes to be nude and she clearly likes to, you know, be nude where it is seen. So it could be, excuse me, bless you. I never sneeze once.

Justin Joseph 2:27

So that's right. It just takes me back to the fly on my forehead issue.

Katy Montgomery 2:31

Exactly. Things happen. Um, but she clearly has either she's just completely comfortable with her body, which is good for her. There's very few of us that are, um, or you know, she sees it's that her private property and she can do what she does. But it does ring a little bit of being an exhibitionist.

Justin Joseph 2:49

Yeah, and I'm gonna disagree with you on both of those points. Um, I really don't care how she feels about her body, I think it's disgusto. Um, secondly, what was the other thing that it's her private property? I mean, there are decency laws that still prevent you from doing things. You can't hang your dick out the front window, you know what I mean, and hang out and wait for people to see you. So this to me is, and I realize that as I get older, I get more prudish. But this to me is just absolutely unacceptable.

Katy Montgomery 3:16

Well, and it, you know what it reminds me of, and I don't know if I've ever told you this story, Justin, but um, you know, when you're little, all you want to do is swim. Like it's the biggest deal to swim. And so we were at the beach, and there is, you know, clearly the ocean, there's an outdoor pool, but the place where we stay had an indoor pool. Okay. The concept for us was just amazing. There's a pool inside, and so it was after dinner. My dad takes all four of us. You know, we go downstairs, we go in, and we walk in, and in the indoor pool are five-necked old people. Completely butt ass naked. And the sixth old one is like just sitting on a lounge chair watching the five-necked people male or female, or both mixed, mixed. And we hear, oh, the kids are here. We might as well better get out of the pool. And I'm thinking to myself, you're damn straight. You better get out of the pool. This is disgusting. And my dad is just a person of decorum. You know, he's not gonna confront. And I'm just ready for my dad to be like, get your pants on and get the hell out of here. And instead, he looks at me and goes, Get in the pool, Katy. Get in the pool. And I'm like, you've got to be kidding me. And then what was so amazing is one woman, she did not have an attractive figure. She gets out of the pool, puts on a kitty cat sweatshirt, and then just stands there bottomless. And I remember being a kid, and I'm like, put the bottoms on first, and then put on the kitty cat sweatshirt. So all four of us are in the pool. I'm the oldest, and I'm looking at my siblings, and we're kind of fake swimming, and I keep saying, don't put your head in the water because you're gonna get tootie water. Don't put your head in the water, you're gonna get dick water. I was like, so grossed out. My dad didn't say a single thing. Well, we go upstairs, and the first thing we see, our mom, we're like, there were naked people down in the pool. And guess what? My mom gets all four of us in tow, marches down to the, you know, to the office and complains. And that's also what I found so strange is that this is a mother who's writing in, who's talking about her teenage son. I'm surprised at this point she hasn't walked over

Stories Of Unwanted Public Nudity

Katy Montgomery 5:36

and said, This is inappropriate for my son, and he's highly uncomfortable. Like my mother did for me. I agree. And what's with the Leilani pool.

Justin Joseph 5:44

Yeah, what's funny about your story, and I have my own, is I remember the first time I saw nudity when I was young. Like that would have been the first time I saw a woman's badge.

Katy Montgomery 5:52

Like not on Cinemax.

Justin Joseph 5:53

You're talking about well, the one time I did see it is my I remember my but we I went to tape, like I used to watch Wonder Woman when I was young.

Speaker 2 6:00

Of course you did.

Justin Joseph 6:02

Did you dress up as or uh that's a different story for different podcasts? That's the Halloween podcast. Okay, but anyway, I think I taped Wonder Woman. We had VCR tapes, and I remember I put went to put a tape in, and and porn came up, and I was traumatized.

Speaker 2 6:18

Like like your parents had a porn.

Justin Joseph 6:20

I think it was oh god, my parents are gonna murder me. I mean, they were my parents were 30s in their 30s at that time.

Katy Montgomery 6:27

They weren't prudish like you are now, right?

Justin Joseph 6:29

And maybe not in their defense, I don't remember. I'm assuming it was their pornography, but I don't, or I don't actually, I shouldn't that this is gonna have to be edited.

Katy Montgomery 6:38

I know your mother's gonna kill me, too.

Justin Joseph 6:40

My mother is our biggest podcast listener, too. So this we just lost a fewer. Anyway, that the my point is it was traumatizing to me because I just never seen anything like that. And clearly the woman getting out, the naked woman getting out of the pool is traumatizing for you.

Katy Montgomery 6:59

Yeah, and I just it and that's the thing that we I think it's becoming a theme here is it's like, you know, be you, you know, fry fly your freak flag, but you live in a community. We, you know, and I think the sense of community is being eroded now more than ever, right? But you take care of each other, you know, you're aware of your surroundings. You you think how certain things are gonna land. I mean, this woman doesn't give a rat's ass.

Justin Joseph 7:27

Right. And speaking of not giving a rat's ass, let's go to the advice, which I just thought was really bad. So the advice that you could, it's funny, and you know, we you and I dabble in the advice columns. We're not these, I mean, this is in your wheelhouse, you're a coach, et cetera. This is not in my wheelhouses, which is funny because people are like, what you're giving advice. I'm like, I'm not really giving advice, I'm more like just saying what I think is dumb advice. And here's an example of a woman who I don't think should give advice because she's all over the place. She first starts by saying, have your neighbor over and you guys can have tea and look at, and then you can show her what a lovely backyard view you have. I'm like, well, that's so passive aggressive. And like a woman who gardens the nude doesn't want to have tea, is my guess. She wants a bourbon, but I don't know.

Speaker 2 8:08

Um, but she or she might she might be wanting to toe over the line, sweet Jesus, or whatever.

Justin Joseph 8:13

Exactly, exactly. Um, anyway, and if she didn't want to have tea, she'd want to have it in the nude, which is weird. But this is where the advice column centers around. I just think this is the right, right, wrong advice. So maybe this is the advice call column of speaking. So maybe just lean in lean in. I'm not saying you go naked, but just accept that this is a funny quirk of hers. It isn't sexual, it's just a body. We all have one. And then when it comes to neighbors, it could be worse. She's gardening naked, not cooking meth or feeding rats. Like wrong way forward.

Katy Montgomery 8:43

Completely wrong way forward. This is not like two wrongs, you know, make a right. And it's the wrong way forward because she's, first of all, not really considering this teenage son who feels highly uncomfortable and needs to be able to hit enjoy his backyard. And I think this is a conversation that could be had and could be had in a very diplomatic and tactful way. And how would you do it? Um, I think probably if I were advising someone, you know, I would knock on the door and say, you know, have a few pleasantries and say, listen, I wanted to let you know, um, I feel a little awkward myself saying this, but we can see you in the backyard nude. And making an assumption, I think you probably enjoy being the nude and it is your home. But I wanted to let you know that my son is very uncomfortable. He's in his kind of awkward puberty age. We're really talking to him about, you know, not objectifying women and how to respect women. And it's really kind of mixed messages. And I'm wondering if we can come to a compromise, you know, and and at least start there rather than let's come over for tea and hope you figure out that we can see your boobs and butt all the time.

Justin Joseph 10:00

Right. She doesn't, the woman does not care. I mean, clearly. She doesn't care. Having her for tea is not going to do the trick.

Katy Montgomery 10:07

And I think it's interesting that this person, and you know, the longer you allow something to happen, that much more difficult is it to change. I mean, the first thing that I would say if I was an exhibitionist and a nudist in my backyard, I'd be like, Well, I mean, I've been at this every day in the summer, work calls and gardening included. Why are you saying something now?

Justin Joseph 10:30

Right. And then you're officially at odds with your neighbors, which is we've had that conversation on this podcast before. That's never fun.

Katy Montgomery 10:38

Never fun. No.

Justin Joseph 10:39

All right. On the other side, I want to tackle the question because I really have thought about this when looking at this topic. Would it make a difference if this is a young, attractive person? So let's talk about that on the other side. Plus, we're going to tackle another neighborhood issue: a man who's getting divorced, his girlfriend or his former wife lives next door with her husband, what he did to get back at them. We'll talk, take that up on the other side. We'll be right back.

Katy Montgomery 11:02

You've been listening to Wrong Way Forward, where bad advice goes to die, and then gets resurrected, just so we can roast it again.

Justin Joseph 11:10

If you're enjoying the chaos, hit like and subscribe and come back every Thursday for new episodes.

Katy Montgomery 11:15

Have a new topic or some disastrously bad advice you want to dissect? Email wrongwayforwardpodcast at gmail.com. Include your contact info.

Speaker 11:24

Now back to Wrong Way Forward. Roasting

Roasting The Column’s Advice

Speaker 11:27

the worst advice ever. Welcome back to the Katy and Justin Podcast.

Justin Joseph 11:32

So we're back on Wrong Way Forward. Over the break, I texted my mother because I do not want it to be dis disowned. And she made it very clear that this was not her tape. Apparently, they lent out the VCR tape to a neighbor who needed it to watch a show. And that's what happened when they got back. I know the neighbor. Everything is good there. My parents are not um porn people. All right, moving on. Um, when we left on the other side before the break, we were talking about a uh a woman who has a 15-year-old son who watches her uh neighbor garden, take work hauls, et cetera, in the nude. We both agreed that the advice just to let it happen was not good advice. But the question I posed going into the break was would it make a difference if this person was an attractive person? A young, hard-bodied man or woman, would that be better or worse? And I'm like, I, you know, I kind of want to say, yeah, it's better. And I'd probably be more okay with it, but that's totally the wrong way forward.

Katy Montgomery 12:27

I mean, to me, it's it's the same difference. And particularly if I have a teenage boy, I would want him to leave his bedroom window once in a while. So this would be worse for me as a parent because I'd be like, why does he always stay inside and look out the window? I mean, right. You know, so for me, be it would be a a more difficult issue because, you know, he would probably be staring 24-7.

Justin Joseph 12:51

Yeah, you remember that Sex in the City episode where Samantha, I think this actually happened in Sex in the City. Oh no, the neighbor was having a lot of sex, and Sam went down, Samantha went down to yell at him and he opened the door and he was this very attractive man. I think he was in a towel and the towel drops off, of course, because it's sex in the city. Yeah. But suddenly she's where she was not okay with them having sex, suddenly she's completely okay with the sex that's going on in the apartment next door because he's attractive.

Katy Montgomery 13:17

So here's the thing you literally chose the most extreme example. Everybody knows Samantha is the like sex-crazed, over the top, you know, has had multiple partners, multiple orgasms as well. Yes. And way above the average American. So, you know, of course that's her case. I think most people would be like, look, I just don't really want to have somebody naked in their backyard, ruining my experience in my own house. And here's the thing even if you are sexy, nobody wants to see you like bend. I mean, I don't, bending over and all kinds of stuff, like gross. I just mm-mm.

Justin Joseph 13:57

Yeah, no, I agree. Well, I think that uh we agree it's the wrong way forward. A to garden in the nude and B to tell your to tell someone in a device column that that's okay. We just do not think that's the right way forward. On the subject of being a good neighbor, Katy um found this clip and I thought it was interesting. Um, Katy, you want to set up what we're looking at? Don't give away the, of course, the um the main point of the story, but just set up what we're gonna see here.

Katy Montgomery 14:21

So, from what I understand, um man and woman married, very acrimonious divorce, um, you know, really did not land well. And so the husband has a home after the divorce. I think the wife might be getting remarried, moves in next door, and the husband um decides to kind of respond in kind um with a big F U. So um there you go. I think you should give it to us, Justin. Yes.

Justin Joseph 14:49

All right, here's the news coverage of the incident. This was a big enough incident that made the news coverage. Here's the news coverage, and we'll take it up on the other side.

Speaker 14:56

It's in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, has purchased a home, right ex-wife, and her new boyfriend, and he has um erected a giant middle finger for her boyfriend to see every morning when he looks out the window. Now he claims that you're gonna be a good one. I know.

Justin Joseph 15:14

You get the idea. Just to set it up, if you're not watching us on YouTube, and if you are, we'll put this up. But it's it's a beautiful house,

Would Attractiveness Change Anything

Justin Joseph 15:20

right, Katy? I mean, it looks like a million dollars.

Katy Montgomery 15:22

Very nice neighborhood. Um, this is a very large statue of a middle finger. It's rather tacky, in my opinion. Um, and it's it's it's it's uh of a significant size. I mean, it is it is very visible, it is it's very prominent in his backyard.

Justin Joseph 15:40

And you can tell he spent a lot of money doing it. I mean, the man, it's this house is waterfront. It's um the the the news coverage goes on to say that the guy's not surprisingly owns strip clubs and it obviously does very well. And he obviously spent a lot of money because the middle finger is it's not just made out of you know tree tree branches, it's really well done.

Katy Montgomery 15:58

Yeah, it's like stone, right?

Justin Joseph 16:00

Yeah, it looks like stone or wood, but it's got a nice background, a beautiful base. I mean, there is some thought and effort that went into this middle finger.

Katy Montgomery 16:09

So I'm gonna go with, I think this is the wrong way forward. Um, and not so much about erecting it. It's like I think he's not dealing and processing the anger. And so I think it's the wrong way forward because, you know, there is a certain point where this is going to poison him. And, you know, a lot of times I talk to people about like what's within your locus of control, right? And you're divorced, you can't control what your wife did in the past, you can't control what your wife's gonna do in the future, you know, but you can control your reaction to it. And my guess is that, you know, that's unattractive for them to see when they wake up in the morning. But for him, he is still harboring so much intense anger and emotions that my guess is it's having an effect on his daily activities, on his health. Um, it's he's probably constantly in fight or flight. He's not able to fully connect with people and instead sends out a signal of I'm separating, I'm disengaging. And so I think at the long term, you know, he's really the middle finger is really directed towards him.

Justin Joseph 17:23

Yeah, I think you're right on, you know, I did divorce law when I was making the transition from being a lawyer into television. And so I did some divorce law. Then in my real estate business, I handle divorces. Um, so I see that side of it. I can tell you that I think it's um emotionally one of the most difficult things that a person goes through. Um, and um, you know, and I have a good friend in Denver who's a divorce lawyer, and she's one of the top divorce lawyers. And um, I actually refer her a lot of business. And I have a good friend who went through divorce, and um, I can tell you she told watching my girlfriend go through the divorce, and the divorce was very acrimonious. She caught him allegedly cheating, etc. And she was angry, angry, angry. And it's taken her a long time to move through that. And I think you're right on looking at a staring at a middle finger every time you

The Middle Finger Statue Feud

Justin Joseph 18:10

look out your window just as a reminder of that pain, and that can't be the right way forward.

Katy Montgomery 18:14

Agreed. I think we're on Justin. Look at this, we're on the same page.

Justin Joseph 18:18

I know. Can you believe it?

Katy Montgomery 18:19

No, it's every time it happens, I'm in complete shock.

Justin Joseph 18:23

And those episodes are our lowest rated, probably.

Katy Montgomery 18:26

Yeah. And what's gonna be really interesting is when we come back after the break, um, there's quite a few people who think your comments and advice were the wrong way forward. And so we're gonna share those, but then we've also got a reader request to get some advice on a sticky situation she's recently been in.

Justin Joseph 18:46

We'll be back after this. Thanks for streaming Wrong Way Forward, the weekly reminder that advice is usually free for a reason. We call out bad advice wherever it hides, boardrooms, break rooms, and even book clubs.

Katy Montgomery 18:58

Enjoying this dumpster fire, like, subscribe, and check back every Thursday for new episodes. Want us to roast your favorite piece of nonsense? Email us at wrongwayforwardpodcast at gmail.com. Be sure to include your contact info. We're not psychic, just judgmental. And now back to Wrong Way Forward. Roasting the worst advice ever. Welcome back to the Katy and Justin. And we're back. Um, so we did get Justin a viewer email just to kind of give everybody some background. Justin was at the airport. He was the number one person on the standby list. A person in a wheelchair um came and then Justin got pushed to two, and this person became one. And Justin immediately.

Justin Joseph 19:42

Can we just stop there? I mean, I was the number one person on the standby list all day. Flights are being delayed into Denver, and I wanted to get home. But yes, that's that's sort of where it is.

Katy Montgomery 19:54

So I got um, not I, I mean, we got an email, but it says Well, hold on.

Justin Joseph 19:59

Let me also set up the fact that so this person, we need to tell the rest of the story. This person rolled, came on, came up, and basically, because they were in a wheelchair, the gate attendant, the customer service person felt sorry for them and gave them immediate priority. And I had been on the number one priority over 25 people all day. In three seconds, I was number two, and I was maybe not going to get a seat on this full flight. So I called United Customer Service. They said that shouldn't have happened. Um, and so I they gave me a confirmed seat, but uh uh several viewers were not happy that I or did not think it was appropriate that I'm gonna.

Katy Montgomery 20:35

Well, and Justin, I think it's interesting that you're still trying to explain your behavior to this. I waited all day. The viewers, the listeners knew all of that context and still thought that it was the one of them thought. So it says, I am gobsmacked that Justin was mad about a handicapped man getting bumped above him on the standby list. I literally cannot imagine thinking about that or making the phone call to United to complain. Yes, there are rules, but I think customer service reps are within their rights to give preference to a handicapped person.

Justin Joseph 21:07

Oh, viewer are viewer disagree. I mean, uh I think what we discussed on the podcast, which I think was your point that I think is right on, there are rules in place for a reason so that people, what whomever you are, wherever you come from, are treated equally. And I got some viewer emails on the other side of that too. Like, here's when I work in HR and I'm tired of people conflating empathy with exceptions. You weren't questioning the wheelchair's user's right to fly. You were questioning why customer service took shortcuts. United staff made assumptions, and I think that's right, instead of following protocol. And I think that that was my point. I don't care who would have walked up to the gate if whatever, whether they were in a wheelchair or not. I, you know, I knew that I knew that the customer service person cut had made a shortcut and that upset me.

Katy Montgomery 21:52

Um, here's here's one more. It says, I could not disagree more with Justin's advice to tell Tacky Man. Tacky Man was the person who was not helping us as we were unloading quite a bit of boxes. Um, and I just labeled him tacky man. Could not agree disagree more with Justin's advice to tell Tacky Man he was tacky. Um what good does that do? It won't teach him anything because he'll be defensive and not in the right

Anger, Control, And Moving On

Katy Montgomery 22:20

time or place. So basically, it just makes Justin feels righteous. Katy's advice is much better and kinder.

Justin Joseph 22:27

Well, you know, look, I I think if she's this viewer says that um it would not teach him anything, and I disagree. I think that in order to teach him something, you have to tell him what the situation was. Now you can be kind in doing that, and maybe this this viewer didn't like my advice on how to do that. But I do feel like generally in my life, and I feel like, and in many ways, it's the way I get through the day, is is by you know, not speaking my mind, that sounds more aggressive than it is, but by trying to say what I need to say so that it's said.

Katy Montgomery 22:59

Right. And I think what's interesting, and this really moves into a great kind of um listener question that they send in and they like our advice, is that, you know, yes, it might be what needs to be said, but is that person listening? And how do we get them into the space where they are open to that? And so this is a scenario. Um, I have an experience similar to Tacky Man. What advice would y'all give? I was asked to introduce a former colleague to a connection on LinkedIn because former colleague is looking for a new job. Former colleague is easily the most difficult person I have ever worked with in my 20-plus year career. I wasn't sure how to handle and was given advice just to delete his email and not respond. I always respond to emails. But in this case, I followed that advice and I just deleted the email with no response. What are your thoughts?

Justin Joseph 23:59

Well, I think you and I are going to disagree on this. I mean, this is a perfect example of what we were just talking about. Um, you know, I feel like in my own life, I I have more regrets over not saying something than I do when I say something. Now, I have plenty of regrets when I say something. I think we all know that on this podcast already. Um, but I think as I get older, I'm trying to couch them more. So, like in a situation like that, I'd probably say something like, I don't think I'm the best person to do this for you, but I wish you the best. Like I think it's direct, it's honest. You know, honestly, and I think that brings up another thing. When I say no to something, and that happened, I'm sure in your life you do too. I always in my head think I do, I will not lie about this, but I can, you know, if I have an appointment, well, my maybe my appointment's with my couch, but I try and be honest saying I have another appointment. So I, you know, go ahead.

Katy Montgomery 24:47

And Justin, I have to say that that is much more lovely than I expected from you. I thought it was gonna be more that um, I'm not gonna, you know, put my reputation on the line for you. Can you recall all of the times that it was difficult? I think what's interesting here is this is someone who doesn't realize they're asking a really big ask. And this is someone who does not want to tarnish their reputation by introducing someone who is a highly difficult colleague. But she feels incredibly uncomfortable for ghosting this person, like deleting their email. I think yours is a good way. I think possibly two other ways that could be that she could respond, but not be so direct and open up this kind of can of whoop-ass, is that what she could write and say, um, thank you for your email. Um, right now I'm being kind of overwhelmed by these requests due to the current market and what's happening. You know, I we live in DC,

Audience Pushback And Wheelchair Standby

Katy Montgomery 25:46

so you can understand kind of what's happening with the federal government. Um, and so at this point, you know, I'm kind of maxed out on connections, but I wish you the best of luck. I think that's one way to respond. I think another way to respond is when anyone asks me, particularly someone who is not a best friend or a staff member that I have closely supervised and given reviews for. I have a lot of people, I have a lot of LinkedIn connections, and kind of due to my career, I have a lot of people who reach out and say, Will you connect me with this person? And I think the best kind of work etiquette is to always reach out to the person who you're gonna be the connecting them to and say, Listen, I have this connection, here is their profile. I know you're crazy busy. We're up on the holiday season, this, this, and this. Would you be open to doing this?

Justin Joseph 26:38

I love that.

Katy Montgomery 26:38

And what they could also do is to say, I want to give you some feedback, blah, blah, blah. You know, because this person might try to contact this person anyway and say, we know X person in common, right? So, you know, just deleting the email doesn't necessarily, you know, stop this possible communication. You could then get a no from that person and write back and say, it was great to hear from you. I checked in with this person, and right now they're pretty overwhelmed and they don't have the bandwidth to meet with you, but best of luck. And I think those are two possible options of making yourself feel better about being responsive, but also not putting your friend or your reputation in jeopardy.

Justin Joseph 27:22

I agree. I think the only thing I would take on with that is the first one where you the first advice you gave where you said, um, I'm overwhelmed with an emails, is if that's based in truth, I'm fine with that. But I think as a growing experience, at least for me, like even when like I remember when I was uh working in TV and I would be in a cubicle and someone would ask up in the air to everyone in the area, like, does anyone know how to, does anyone know what time XYZ is? In my head, I knew what time was. Or if they'd asked, if person A asked person B, do you know what time this is in my head? If I knew what time it is, I would not answer because they did not ask me specifically, and I didn't. So I really feel like as I you think that's funny?

Katy Montgomery 28:00

I just think that's so weird. I mean, I think it's just a different orientation to helping.

Justin Joseph 28:06

I mean, I guess I'm giving it a not on like what time is it, but I just I I try and live in my own lane. But where I was going with that in your advice piece is I also try and root anything I tell someone in the truth. And so um, yes, to be as least harmful as I can. And I uh this week I'm I'm firing a real estate client because they want a price for their house that the market is not giving and they they're not listening. And it's I've gone through it enough. And I so my when I wrote them, I said I I, you know, basically I I don't have confidence I can sell at that price. You deserve a realtor who has that confidence. It was an aggressive, straightforward approach, but I think that that the best advice is the ones that are rooted in truth that are straightforward but are hard to say also.

Katy Montgomery 28:53

Yeah, and I think, you know, I think this is something that's that is a personal relationship. That is um someone who could come back and ask additional information. I think this is more of a superficial relationship. And I think it is okay to ground in truth, but it doesn't have to be necessarily the Bible beating, God honest, you know, you know, swear on your mother's life kind of truth. I I I don't think that's necessary for some of these kind of social interactions.

Justin Joseph 29:21

What's interesting about your is we do more of these podcasts, this seems to be a

Calling Out Tacky Behavior

Justin Joseph 29:25

consistent theme as to how you approach um just hard discussions. And maybe we need a podcast just on that, because I think um have you noticed that that's been a theme over a lot of things we've talked about?

Katy Montgomery 29:37

Well, and it's interesting. I have in casual conversations, particularly from friends who listen to our show, or like, could we eventually talk about something like, you know, people who have different political leanings, you know, and and how are they getting along? Or even have had people say, how do you just approach, and and we wouldn't make a comment on either, but you know, Israel, Palestine, like how do you? Have a constructive conversation around these things when you disagree, you know, those are very difficult conversations. Um, so yeah, that's definitely something we can do in the future.

Justin Joseph 30:11

All right. Well, that's this week's episode of Wrong Way Forward. We appreciate you all listening and watching for those of you on YouTube. Of course, if you have emails or other questions or comments, I know you have comments. But if you have questions on advice in your daily life, please email us at wrongwayforwardpodcast at gmail.com. And of course, we'll see you back here next week on Wrong Way Forward. All right, that's a wrap on this week's episode of Wrong Way Forward. Remember, the only thing worse than taking bad advice is giving it.

Katy Montgomery 30:38

If you've liked what you've heard, like, subscribe, or follow us wherever you stream podcasts. And if you've got a topic or need some advice, we'll probably regret giving, email us at wrongwayforwardpodcast at gmail.com.

Justin Joseph 30:52

Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Wrong Way Forward.